Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
