sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
