sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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