Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
