I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
