Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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