I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize