do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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