i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
