when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
