dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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