i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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