don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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