Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
