i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
