We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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