Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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