We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize