"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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