Can Purell be used as lube?
he puts the penis in happiness.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Randomize
