i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
