Having a random hookup so left but love u
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
