New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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