She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
