Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
