I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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