The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I licked your asshole in confidence.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
