Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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