My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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