Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
