I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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