dude i'm inner monologue high
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
