i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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