She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
