I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
