JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
