I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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