I'm lost and stupid without you.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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