Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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