Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
No more Irish car bombs ever.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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