Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Panties = found
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