So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
