You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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