just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
