You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I think I just sharted jello shots
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
