I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
