I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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