Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.