It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying