You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?