I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
