get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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