Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
