I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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