i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
